Hello? Is this thing still on???

 Here I am.. I was dared to resurrect this ancient tome from my not so innocent youth.

What does one write after such a long absence? 

I'm still in NY, it's almost the end of the year.. I'm turning 45 in two weeks...fuck.

When I started this blog I thought it was going to be a history of my time in NYC, I thought that I would be documenting my life as a performer, auditioning and doing various gigs around town. Little did I know that my life would take unexpected dips and turns. I still work in fashion (not sure how I managed that magic trick, but I did) I moved back to Cali for a brief stint and moved BACK to NY three years ago.. I've been living alone since 2014, no more Roommate after 11 years, though we still hang out and a still very codependent LOL. 

At some point someone looked over and actually told me I knew what I was doing and to my amazement, I actually believed them, finally no more Imposter Syndrome. I am no longer the new kid, the assistant or junior agent. It's wild. Unlike my life now, which is no longer wild, no more crazy stories and lives I live on the weekends anymore. I will be nine years "Cali Sober" in February. 

I no longer blog but I do tweet @LaDivafina and use Instagram @Divafina and various other outlets to get my thoughts and crazy out there.. I do have a journal on my phone that I try and update when I can but life, you know?

We are on the other side of global pandemic and we just barely made it over, the beginning was rough, my family was hit hard by COVID19 and I don't think my family or the world will ever recover from the insanity that was a worldwide shut down. For almost three years our lives have been masks, swabs, vaccines, booster shots, Antigen and PCR tests, antibodies count, more vaccines, monkey pox, blood tests and social distancing. 

Still single.. but I have a therapist going on 12 years and he says that it's ok to be single and some people will not find one true soulmate but instead work on their relationships and chosen family.. and that's what I do... I surround myself with amazing people that lift me up and make want to be a better person. I have the gym, my gay men's choir, my softball team and more! 

Did I ever think I was going to be 45 and thriving in NYC? Nope.. but here I am LOL!

I can say this, I somehow used my bruja powers when I made a post back on Wednesday March 16, 2005, a whole 6 months before I started working at Elite Models.. I was still dancing, singing and auditioning while working at Sephora.. here is an exerpt.

 I am going to make a bigger statement once I move. I'm going to make a change, for the better. I can feel it. I got a couple of positions at work that I want to go for and I have a good chance to get them. And I know that I want to be part in some way shape or form of the fashion industry. I don't how, but I will, and I will make a big contribution.

 Anyhoo, MerBear dared me.. so here it is.. My eyes are watery and my nose is itchy from dusting off this old ass journal.. digging her up from the dirt where I left her... love and light and all that shit.. xxdf.