I didn't even have to use my AK, I gotta say it was a GOOD DAY...

That was a lyric from a rap song by Ice Cube from back in the day. Well what to say, I haven't been to the gym all week because I've been too tired or I don't have enough time. I live way to faraway from my gym. I'm going to have to break down and get a gym closer to me so I can go there in the morning and not spend 45 minutes getting there and then another 30 minutes getting to work. It will all work out, as I'm sure I will get to again. Went to work and was busy the whole day. I do enjoy working with everyone, especially the person that I'm learning under, he's seen and been through so much in the industry. We went to lunch today and he gave me some great feedback and let me know that I was doing a good job, which is what I needed to hear. I breathed easier knowing that I'm actually being noticed and it's on the positive side. Not much else to write about, we've got an early staff meeting in the morning and Hollywood came over for a while to chat and watch television. I'm off to sleep, it's been and long and good day. WAIT!! I've got to send a shout out to my Tias back home in California, welcome them everyone. My Aunts are reading this blog too!! It's the only way that they can keep up with my life, since it's so crazy..hahahha, just don't freak out when you read some stuff that you shouldn't, cuz I try not to hold anything back....goodnight everyone...df

32 is the new 22......

At least that's what my friend Roy says. We had a birthday dinner for him last night and we got most of the clan together and had us a good old fashioned Feliz Compleanos! At a very expensive but delicious mexcian restuarant called Dos Caminos. It's the same one we went to for Dads' party but in a different location. Dinner was great and so was dessert, we all ate like Fatgurls. Roy got his present that he was not expecting, his brand new Ipod Nano. He's too cool for school now and he loved it. I was on cloud nine with all of my closests New York friends with me. I've made friends for life and I'm always to grateful for the time that I get to spend with them. Here are some pictures of last night. I need to try and get some sleep, I want to and will get to the gym in the morning.
Work has been tough and I'm getting my ass kicked on a daily basis, but I'm learning so much and the days go by so quick. I'm drinking red wine and getting sleepy. More inspirational stuff later, enjoy the pics..love df

Pictures

This was a great picture of my homegirls from the Malin and Goetz party that I kept promising that I would post. And this is a picture of me and Matt Maling and Andrew Goetz. df.

Summer is over...

I've been terribly busy with my new job!! I'm having a great time being a workaholic and feeling accomplished with my day. I'm also working out again, and this time I'm gonna lose those last 10 pounds!! So much has happened that I'm gonna have to give you guys my infamous bullet points to catch ya'll and me up.

• Saying goodbye: I left my old job as quietly and as I came. There were a few tears shed, for the most part everyone was happy about me moving on and up.
• New JOB!!: So I started my new job on Monday and had to fill out all this paperwork, one of these sheets happened to be a confidentiality agreement. So some things that I would like to write about on this blog I won't be able to, or else my ass is going to get fired! So I'll take it day by day. I had a tough first day, it's gonna be demanding and stressful but I'm up for the challenge and bring it on!! This whole week has been about me getting in earlier every day and leaving just a little but later every night. I feel like I haven't seen my Roommate in forever and I need to catch up on my chores. I worked six days this week and we still didn't get everything that we had to do finished. I'm learning about everything at the agency and everyday is an experience. I am in great hands with the gentlemen that I'm working under and I hope to learn what the hell I'm supposed to do there by the end of this coming week.
• HAVE TO SKINNY!!: This is what one of my co-workers jokingly told me a couple of days ago when I sad that I was off to the gym. I was told that I work in a modeling agency now and need to get fit. Um, okay. As if I didn't have enough body issues to begin with. Cut to me hitting the gym HARD early before work at least four days a week.
  
• I GOT MONEY!!: I get paid weekly at my new gig and that has made my life so much easier. I need to learn to budget accordingly!!
  
• PARTY WEEKEND: I hung out this weekend, went to a couple of birthday parties and ate to much and drank to much. But I had a great time with my friends and we made it happen.
• SUMMER IS OVER:Last night I busted out the hoody cuz it was 64 degrees outside and I needed to protect my ass from the chilly air. Today I wore same hoody as I had brunch with #3 and Dad in their neighborhood. It was nice to have a quasi weekend off. I'm sure that I will have one next weekend, hopefully, but one day isn't too bad. The food was great and we ended being Fat Gurls and ordering practically the whole menu and eating every last bit of food on all the plates. We went back and watched Birdcage and The Broken Hearts Club, which with the weather and the gloomy sky I got a little sentimental for all my old PPG's and the times that we had on the west coast. But I got over that real quick. There are new memories to be made here in NYC, and let me tell you this fall and winter are going to be SO good! I can't wait. I'm off to bed, I'm gonna hit the gym early!! love DF

*** Funny quote of the day: Dad is talking to his friend on the phone after we finished watching the Broken Hearts Club, and he was trying to tell his friend what movie he had just finished watching and he looks over at us and asks.
" What was the name of this movie? The club...The Westside Club?" He just told his friend over the phone that he just finished watching a movie about an infamous bath house here in New York. I was sitting on the couch mortified, and #3 was folding laundry, we both almost pissed ourselves laughing so hard!! It was tremendous to just let out a belly laugh with your best friends and just have good time. Thanks guys, that moment totally made up for ditching me on Friday night...df!! heehee

Rehydration

I don't ever want to drink again. I am totally going to detox for the month of October, this body can't handle all of this fun. I had a great time last night, met some cute boys and made out with a couple of them. My neck hurts, so does my lower back and my knee. Malin and Goetz had a small party for the store last night at their location and my night started there with Tam and #3 and the rest of the crew. I just have to say that I love that company and those guys, they make some of the best skincare that I've tried and use, and believe me that I've tried a lot of skincare. Matt Malin and Andrew Goetz have come up with a great product that if they ever called asking me to work for them and the job was right I would be all over it, I believe in the their vision and love them as people. Enough with the ass kissing, on with the rest of the night. We went to G lounge after the party then headed over to Douvet, a fun club with beds everywhere so you could stand or sit or sleep or whatever on those comfy things. We had great fun there, Roommate met up with us and it felt like old times again, especially since my Cheetah was in overdrive and I was on a hunt looking for anyone to pay attention to me. It was nice to dance and chat with guys like I used to back in the day. I wasn't afraid or self conscience about anything last night. We rolled home at 4:30 in the morning and I passed out after I drunk dialed my friend Sammy Boots. He asked me to send him a shout out on my blog so I did, I then passed the hell out and woke up with one of the meanest hangovers ever. I'm off to bed, I've nursed myself back to health with water, Gatorade, a cheeseburger with fries and some food from Chipotle. I have the day off tomorrow and I have to go to Jersey to see the new Sesame Street Live show with some old cast members. Fun!Fun! love df.

**To the person that left me that message about Sam, which I should erase but I'm not because I want people to read it to see how mean it was. I don't want my friends attacked on my blog, I will not tolerate this sort of thing, especially from someone who doesn't have the balls to reveal who they are, don't come on here throwing shade and then not want any fierceness thrown back. Or maybe you do know me well enough to know that I can serve it, even if I'm 3,000 miles away. Play nice and fair or I'll turn this car around, you understand? Momma don't play that shit. Okay, smooches, now I can go to bed...noches df

SHOUT OUT!!!!

DRUNK!!!! I AM DRUNK !!!
I'm sending a shout out to Sammy Boots. I've been out all night drinking and carring on, I know that I won't make it in at 10am. I've spent quite a bit of money trying to make everyone happy. Off to sleep I go, goodnight!!! love DF

*It is now 4pm, and I would like to apologize to anyone that I may have called last night, or thrown myself at. I don't remember writing that post up there, but I guess I was feeling good. I'll write a real post later to wrap up last nights wanderings and gossip. I need to drink more water and Gatorade, I've already had a cheeseburger and fries. I've checked my bank account and I have a negative balance, this is after just depositing $800 into my account. I'm lucky that I knew enough to pay off my bills last night, I just don't know where most of it went. I guess I wanted everyone to have some money to hang out with me so I started giving it away. I figure out later.... my head hurts...df

" Feel this skin.... Are you going through it?"

Let me catch everyone up on what's been happening in my life since last I posted. I went to straight to work at my "real" job after completing my freelancing gig with the modeling agency without having a day off. My gym schedule was also thrown off but I managed to have some good times with friends over the last couple of days, I will bullet point to get in as much as possible.

• Paris is Burning: All the children to the floor!! #3 bought this movie on Friday since it was finally released on DVD. We spent Friday night watching it and it was funny to watch this movie after so many years and finding out that my gay vernacular was affected by this movie. We decided that we have our own house and the house is named Jose. I am Divafina from the House of Jose. Also it was queer to find out that almost everyone around me bought that DVD, from Roommate to Friend and others. It was a voguing weekend.." Are you going through it?"
• Caught smoking: So I started smoking again in Japan and it came back with me. I haven't made it a big deal, but #3 caught me smoking a cigarette on Saturday while I waited for the crew to make it to dinner. I felt like I was seven again and my mom caught me with a cigarette in the backyard, there was a moment where I forgot that I was a grown man and not a child. It's nice to have people care about your health. I know that I will quit again, especially since I almost passed out on the treadmill yesterday.
• Hooligans and beer: Sunday was a busy day at the store and I finally got a chance to go out and catch a movie with Tam. We had been trying to catch the movie Green Street Hooligans with Elijah Wood. I enjoyed the film, it was like a Football Fight Club, at least that's what Tam said. I have to remember that I live in New York now and that I have to get used to people talking through that whole thing. During very emotional and intense moments people would cat call the screen with "Frodo" or " My Precious". It was not needed, but we dealt with and almost froze to death inside the theatre. Tam and I then went to drink beer from tap because we were inspired by the movie. As we were walking to the bar we noticed these two piercing beams of light that shone into the sky and I was reminded that it was the fourth anniversary of the 9/11. I stopped to take pictures and my camera didn't do it justice. Tam and I got drunk off of beer, and had some great talk about my future and what I want to do, he told me that if I was offered a job with the modeling agency then I should take it because I was happier doing something that used and showcased my talents. It was just great to hear some good feedback from a friend and co-worker. It also marked the fourth anniversary of my fathers' artificial heart valve operation, so I called him while I walked home and wished him a happy fourth birthday, since he was dead for a few minutes during that operation and he was sort of reborn with a new heart.
  
• Day off...of everything!:I had the day off on Monday with plans to go to the gym and walk around and enjoy my day in Central Park. Well I received a call from my friend who worked at the modeling agency and he called to tell me that I was being offered a job with the his agency. I cried, it was weird being offered a job that you didn't go after, so of course I said yes and I planned to call on Tuesday so I could meet up with his boss and discuss pay and benefits. After that call I couldn't leave the apartment, I was freaking out, I started to doubt myself and my abilities and had to stay inside and watch television. But once Roommate came home he brought back down to earth and helped me through my episode.
  
• BBQ and The Cock: Went to the gym on this day off and got called into the modeling agency to have a meeting with the director. She made me wait for almost two hours before we had our meeting outside over a cigarette. Called #3 and went over to his place where we decided to go out and have dinner and drinks and celebrate my good fortune. Tam met up with us and we got a little tipsy and ended up at the Urge and the New Cock. Tacky Go-Go boys and one with an eggplant dick kept #3 entertained. Tam was right about this job and he was supportive with my decision to drop down to on call at the store. Stumbled home drunk and passed out.

• Humid and gross: Went to work late, it is mugging. There is another hurricane messing up out weather here, and it's effecting my joints. I'm turning into an old lady who swears that they can feel rain coming from their knees, which I do. Deposited a check and came home early from work. Just chilling and catching up with friends on the phone. Happy to know that this is my last week at the store and then I get to start my new gig. Also think that it's funny that some of my friends have started blogs after reading mine, want to welcome them to the blogsphere, even if I did have to help them name one. I'm off to bed..love you guys...df

And back to life....

The show finally went up last night and it was one of the most thrilling, exciting and stressful things that I have ever been involved with. I felt like everyone and everything was either yelling or being forced upon me and the few of us that were assisting with the production. I can't go into detail right now because I'm exhausted from having to work today at my "real" job and not get anytime to recover from the maddness that is a fashion show. I was home last night by 11:45 and in bed by midnight. I haven't slept much and I just got home from hanging out with #3 and I'm about to head to bed. It's just hard to go back to slinging stupid samples when I was just being fabulous with the glitteratti last night...back to life...back to reality... night df

GET ME GUCCI!!!

I'm having a blast working at the modeling agency, I just wish that I hadn't went and got myself a small cold. I'm old enough to know my body, but I still don't listen to it as much as I should. I came home from work yesterday around 6pm. That was early for me, considering we've been putting in 13 hour days. I was feeling a little bit under the weather all day, we had SO many fires to put out yesterday, but out of all them I was most stressed out about the task that I was made to do. You can call it my Queer Eye curse, my whole gay life has been about women thinking that I can do things that all faggots should be able to do! Like I should know how to sew, or cook, or do hair. I can't, I'm not that gay. I also HATE to go shopping, it's true, I'm a power shopper. Get in and get out, don't try anything on because that takes to much time. So for some reason my boss( who's fucking fierce!!) decided to trust me with getting her dress for the show, you know the one that she's going to wear on the red carpet.
"Jose!! Call Prada, Gucci and whoever and tell them that I need a dress!! And HURRY!"
" Okay!, (trying to sound capable and secure) Which one? What color? "
"Jose, YOU'RE GAAAAYY, you decide"
End of conversation, and the way she rhymed Jose with gay, she made both the AY sounds long and shrill. Jose is Gay, I haven't heard that since elementary school, and even then it was because I looked up the word gay in the dictionary and it meant happy, so I, wanting a bigger vocabulary than everyone else adopted the word and started using it.
"Jose, you wanna come to house and have nieve?" My boyhood friend would ask.
" I would love to come over and have some ice cream, it makes me GAY!" I would exclaim with such vigor and youthfulness.
Little did I know that ice cream does not make you gay, it makes you happy and fat, but not gay. Sucking dick makes you gay, and that wouldn't come into my life for another seven years, so I became Jose is GAAAY. Not because I liked boys, but because ice cream made me gay. I was asked by the teacher why I was telling everyone I was gay and I had to tell him that it meant happy.
"Jose I KNOW what gay means, but also means something else...." Long pause as I looked up at him with tears welling up in my eyes( I always hated when men taller than my dad talked to me, and Mr. Rendon was waaaay taller than my dad).
"What?.....What else does it mean Mr. Rendon?" I had asked meekly,I was scared that I was in trouble, what was the big deal. I can't be happy? Was it a crime to be gay in 1986? Apparently it was, because he got all red in the face and then took a long look at me. I mean a loooong hard, trying to figure me out look. The one where you look at those magic picture where you have to squint, get you're eyes out of focus and then sneeze to see the pansy in the garden. That's how he saw me, the boy with the matching two piece burgundy sweat suit, the top had a hood with no sleeves, very 80's, very now. And the shorts matched, but I had started to outgrow them and my legs were a little too long for them by then, but I insisted on wearing them together because they were a set and I didn't want them to be apart. My hair was styled with so much AquaNet and DEP gel that it was harder than cement, I had to have to highest waterfall like bangs in the world, even then I knew that my hair was an asset. I was wearing some sneakers that I think we got at the swapmeet, but I kept them nice and clean. The deal breaker, the one that made my picture jump out at him, was when he got to my shoes he noticed that I wearing what my little brother so now affectionately calls Bitty socks, you know ankle socks. I didn't want to wear long tube socks they look out of place, so I got a pair of my sisters socks, the kind she wears with shorts. Only hers had the little trimming around the sock in pastel colors, pink, yellow, baby blue, lavender. I chose the most masculine color she had available that would match with my outfit, LAVENDER. It even had the little pom pom on the end of the sock, that hangs over the back of the shoe. After that stare that seemed like a life time, but really was only a nanosecond, I shifted my weight, put one hand on my hip and brought the other one over my eyes so I could look up at Mr. Rendon and not get blinded by the sun. There on the black top, on the Four Square painted lines, Mr. Rendon figured out that I was a gay. Not ice cream happy, but dick happy. He told me to stop calling myself gay and he left it at that. I let it slip away and never thought about that moment until much later in my adolescence when Jose is GAAAY became an accusation and insult.
So I sat at my desk completely stunned, who do I call? I've never done this before, she'll fire me. Five minutes go by before she calls me on the phone to ask if I've found her a dress, or if I have any ideas. When I tell her that I don't she yells at me to bring her that latest Vogue, I go and find it. It's September 2005 and it's HUGE, a fashion issue with Sarah Jessica Parker on the cover. I notice that if this gets thrown at me it's going to hurt. She grabs it from me and starts looking through it like she's looking for a spell or incantation to ward off evil spirits.
"Look Josssaaay, she her? I want something cute, small, I want to show off my legs!"
"I was thinking a nice black pant suit? Very strong and sexy at the..."
"PANTS! Hell no! Josssaaaay, I've got great legs let me show them off while I still got them!"
She hands me the book, thankfully, and my job now is to scour the magazine until I find her the dress. Why me? I suck at this, I flip page after page. Damn these current fashions! Twenty minutes go by.
"Jossssaaay, where are we with that dress?" She beckons from inside her office.
"I've tabbed the pages with possibilities, maybe Valentino, or Prada or..."
"NO, I want to be sexy, all of these are shit. Keep looking, make me look good Jose."
"Okay!" I said though I had no idea how I was going to do this, all the other assistants were off shuttling the young models from shoots and castings and I was left alone. I'm on the internet trying to look at websites when she comes out of her office to look at the Vogue once more. I opened it for her to a page that I hadn't gotten to and there was this beautiful silk navy blue long sleeved dress that this actress was wearing on page 541. It had a nice plunging kneck line and it was perfect for her.
"YES! That's it, I love it! Where can we get?" And by we, she means me. I quickly scan the page and look for a name, anything, what is it? YSL? Dolce and Gabbana? WHAT! I notice then the caption while she's looking at the other magazines, it's....GUCCI!
"It's Gucci, the dress is Gucci." I tell her this thinking like a poor Mexican boy would, like it's a dream dress and it's only found in magazines, not in your closet. I sounded like I let her down, you know liked I failed. She looked over at me with this nonchalant look and said.
"SO? I love Gucci, Get me GUCCI!"
"But the dress is $1,000!"
"Jose, the dress is me, Gucci is me, I need this dress. Call them and tell them that I need this dress."
Well I guess she told me, so I started my search which would last the rest of the day. The Gucci boutiques in NYC did not buy the dress Niemen Marcus did, but there are no NM in NYC. When I tell her this she doesn't care about the cost have them send it to us. I call around all afternoon and no one can find the dress that's on page 541 of the latest Vogue, she even went home early yesterday and called my cell phone while I was home to ask about the dress. I've been on the phone with so many different store and personal shoppers that today I was scared to tell her that I didn't have a dress. Thank God my friend who got me the gig was at the office today when she called. He's her real assistant and I'm just filling in for the time being, he got on the phone and told her that everything was going to be alright and that the boutique would have something similar to that and to go shopping on Sunday. She was happy after that, I was pissed, but she was happy. I still can't believe all the pressure that put myself under and the problem that I thought we had wasn't that big after all. I ended up coming home early and just resting in bed the remainder of the afternoon. I'm all high on drugs for this cold and can't wait to fall asleep, I just had to write this. If you guys get a chance, page 541 on the new Vogue, had a kick ass dress that you can't get anywhere in the U.S. night....df

Have I arrived??

I'm a little bit drunk, tired and fighting a cold. I know that these pictures say a thousand words. We had welcome /birthday party for the models and one in particular. Her name is Melissa Haro, the young cute chick from last seasons Project Runway. It was her 18 birthday and her friend Austin Scarlett arrived to celebrate, I had to take a picture and chat with one of my favorite designers, I mean, we didn't have much to talk about, seeing as he's practically a vampire and I'm a witch , but I made it happen. The other picture is another up and coming model from Brazil who's name I can't remember, but look at her! She's hot! I need to go to bed, but I had to upload this pictures because no one was going to believe me. And those of you night owls may recognize The Park off of 10th Ave. Here in NYC. I couldn't believe that it was a restaurant, I had only gone when it was a gay-seedy-fun club. I had a blast because it was VIP and private. I could get used to this...df

Models, models EVERYWHERE!!!

I've been working 13 hour days helping my friend out at the modeling agency. They, we've, have a HUGE fashion show that is coming up next week. I'm helping out by being a production assistant, and for those of you who don't know what that is, it means I'm everyones bitch. I do whatever they need me too. It's a great oppurtunity and I'm learning a great deal. I just wish that I had more time, I'm to tired to go the gym nor do I have time to hang out with anyone. For example, Esmeralda was broken and her replacement was sent to me on Monday, I just last night finally had the chance to pick up the new Ipod from a friend who was keeping it safe for me and i reloaded all the songs onto Esmeralda the sequal. It took all night to upload over 2,000 songs. I didn't know how much I had become to depend on my Ipod to keep me from interacting with people on the streets of New York. I can't really type right now, I'm actually at the modeling agency and as I write this there is this giraffe of a blonde being taught how to walk before she goes out for casting for fashion week. She needs help, and everyone knows that I can walk, but they're not paying me to teach, I'm here to learn....and answer phones.... Anyone ever read the Devil wore Prada? I'm living here, and she wears Gucci. I love it!! By for now...df