When the world's as hot as July, it's the world against you and I.

Those are lyrics from JaRule's song What would I be without you?, I remember that song because I was in Chicago when that song dropped and it made SO much sense then. Up until then I had be living in SoCal and never had a real hot July. Well kids, the summer of '01 has nothing on the summer of '05 in NYC!! The shit here has been to darn hot! I walk around in a haze with my tongue sticking out like some puppy, only I don't have a leash or a hot guy to walk me around my neighborhood. I've been very good this week with hitting the gym before work and trying to eat right. I can't believe that four years ago this week I had packed up all my shit in Chicago and ran away with the people on that block that we all grew up with. I'm also very excited that I'll be on the way to Japan a week from manana. Am I scared? I don't know, partly because this is the first country where I'm not going to know the language and the culture will be foreign to me. So I can't wait to feel like everyone else did when we were in Mexico, Puerto Rico and all over the Southwest. I don't know what else to write, it's Thursday so that means that I have to work the early shift on Friday and my body is telling me to get ready for bed. I have a full weekend planned, I'm meeting friends tomorrow afternoon and then hanging out with the girls in the evening. On Saturday we may be going upstate to go hiking, I know, me hiking! It will be cute and lovely and totally worth getting out of the city. I read a cool quote last night, "Tourists don't know where they've been, travelers don't know where they're going."-Paul Theroux wrote that and I thought that it was very fitting..aight guys...night love df

Blast from the Past

I've been a horrible blogger and haven't written much. I just took a break from the internet for a couple of days and didn't feel like logging on to anything. I've been doing the same BS, you know working and going to the gym. I'm broke and it's FUCKING HOT!! Walking around is torture. I had a good week other than that, I had a great surprise from an old friend this weekend. That beautiful man to the left is one my oldest friends from back home. I've known him for about ten years. PMK as I like to call him, is a from a great and innocent part of my past. We were 18 when we met, and though we've drifted apart there for a while I try never to miss his birthday or send him shout out when the holidays grow near. The last time that we saw each other was in NYC over two years ago and we made up for lost time. We have the same close friends from back home and since we are the farthest away from them it's great to get together and reminisce. He is as smart as he is beautiful, he's just finished his first year of med school and is getting his MBA at the SAME TIME!! I met up with him on Friday, after I went to work early and hit the gym hard. I had to, this man runs marathons, is personal trainer and has been known to be a model! So after we caught up we went over to #3's house and came down to the village and had dinner, and had to much to drink. We then came back to #3's and Colorado's house and kept on drinking. That picture up there was taken before dinner and the subsequent ones that I can't show tell the whole story. Apparently I got camera happy and I took over a 100 photos of a bunch of nonsense, but it was so much fun. I don't remember getting home, but I do remember calling out and throwing up all morning. By the time that I had gotten home I had been awake for over 24 hours, I was a mess, but it was worth it to hang out with PMK. Love you man!!
Moving on with today. I thought that I was to start an advanced level training for my job tomorrow morning, but it turns out that I was given the wrong info and it was for today. I'm a little bit upset, because now I have to wait for a few more months to be recognized as an expert in my world, even though I feel and know that I have the knowledge. Thanks again to #3 for keeping me in check. Not much else to write, I'm going to Japan next Friday and I'm melancholy about it, I'm just not excited by it. I'm a freak, I know. Roommate is in Queens and this place is a little quiet, but I'm taken advantage of it. By the way, look at the pic of me up there!! How skinny do I look? All that working out is paying off!! Aight, love DF.

The King of IKEA!!

So I finished Harry Potter on Sunday morning and all I can say is whatever!! I was expecting more after waiting for two years for that damn book and then I stay up all weekend to read it. I even read part of it in the dark while waiting for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. That movie sucked too! Anyhow, I went home early from work and hung out with friends, I drank too much and partook in some illicit materials that kept me up in the early morning light of Monday. Monday was chill, spent the day recovering from the night before, skipped the gym for some sleep. Hollywood called me up, and I went over to see her place for the first time. She lives right around the corner, and I've been in my place for about two months. We watched Annie Hall, ate pizza, drank rum and cokes. And then her roommate came home and we proceeded to smoke some mota and watch television. We were a mess, laughing at each other and having a great time. I came home around 11 and I passed out by midnight. Roommate woke me up this morning with his cleaning and setting up some of the IKEA stuff that he had bought for our place last week. Well since this is get it done Tuesday I got up and we went on this journey to pick up his boyfriend's car and drive over to the IKEA in Jersey. We picked up some shelves and came home, in traffic, and started to put some things together. All I have to say is that my Roommate is the KING of IKEA, he can put anything together that comes with crazy hieroglyphic instructions. At one point he showed me that I needed to help him because the instructions showed a second person helping the first with the project. He was amazing with his little tools and his electrical drill, I was a great helper and I have to say that we were proud the job that we did, if you could have seen the ugliness that was this apartment before we used our queer eye you would have to told us to be homeless. Got to work manana, trying to get the gym before slave time..love you..df

It's HARRY POTTER!!

I went to work early this morning and ran to the gym. Came home and hung out for a bit, took a nap and watched a movie. I don't want to even pretend to understand Ocean's Twelve. What the fuck was that movie about? Anyhow, today was Flaca's birthday and Roommate and him went out to celebrate. Roommate also brought home the latest installment of the Harry Potter series, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I've been waiting forever for this book, and I actually thought about calling in sick to work in the morning so I can finsh reading it. I'm such a dork..night DF

He ain't heavy...

Not much has happened since my last post, nothing interesting at least. I'm loving the fact that I can walk to work, so I can notice all the things that I take for granted. I got my first review with my job after four years of working for this company off and on. I also got a raise, it was only $1.46, not what I was expecting but at least it was something. My review was as I expected, everything about me is fine, smart, blah, emotional, has bad days, needs to be more positive. I've been having those since high school, somethings never change.
My father is in Guadalajara with my youngest sibling, they are on vacation together. I can't help be but a little jealous of all the time that my brothers have all gotten with him. I really wish that I would have had the dad that they have now. I didn't get the fun supportive dad that shows up to all your little league games. I didn't have the father who picks you up from school and knows all your friends, takes you everywhere and treats you like a prince. I got a totally different guy, I guess after SO many kids he finally got it right. My brother, the littlest one, my fathers' namesake. He got it all, not the physical, but the emotional. I'm sure he never gets hit, or gets scolded, or gets let down. He doesn't get stood up for the movies or juggled around with different family members when other things come up in my dad's life. No, not this one, he's happy. He likes to go all the place that my dad does. He loves the junkyard, the swapmeet and the yard sales. All the places that I was forced to go to as a kid. I'm sure he has never felt embarrassed by him, my Apa, my idol. He got the dad that's tired of fighting, the retired dad. The one who doesn't have to work so had anymore. The one who makes sure he does his homework, the one who cooks for him and is proud of what he accomplishes. He gets the physical, I get the phone calls. I don't know my little brother and sometimes I know that I keep away from him because I'm jealous of all that he has. He basically is an only child, he didn't grow up with so many screaming kids, he got older teen-aged siblings who waited on him hand and foot. I'm the far way brother, the one who never calls or writes. The one who doesn't know his birthday, who he sees once a year. I'm the one he will never catch up too, not in my fathers eyes. I see him as lucky, and I'm sure he sees me the same. He tells me that he hates to be compared to me, and tell him that I would gladly trade lives and go back home. My dad, one day he will be gone, and I will be left with a little clone of him. One who'll be able to claim all the gold chains and bracelets with my dad's name on them. He will keep the belt buckles and cowboy boots. He will know how to get around Tijuana, the town that I loathe. I will have only memories as will he, of two entirely different men, who were one in the same. I had the father I would stay up all night for, to make sure he was alright. I got the man I would have to go into catinas and drag out. I had the dad that you would have to pick up and take to bed after a night of rancheros and too many beers. I had a dad that would look and me and tell me to not grow up to be him, and he would spit on the carpet and pass out. He got the sober dad, the together dad. Was it the better, or the deafeated dad? Whatever it is, we all got him, and we're his sons.

I don't know where that came from, but it needs some work. It's a good start, I need to go to bed..night love df.

Fantastic Four?

I finally had a decent day off! After working like an illegal immigrant for the past two weeks, having a day where I had no plans other than the mundane, was a gift. I had a long day yesterday and didn't really have anything to write about, except of course watching the men's final in figure skating world championship. Was very much impressed with some of the new hotties, as well as being taking aback with how many bottoms go sailing through the air. Which is funny, because the guy who won the whole thing is some Swiss guy, can't remember his name. He's the one with the flying spilt leap. I thought that I saw him while I was walking home and when I mentioned it this to Roommate he walked right up to him and asked him if he was an ice skater. Of course it wasn't him, but he was mighty fine and straight to boot!
When I was on my way to the gym I dropped off my clothes at the fluff and fold, my bag was over 22 pounds! What? How many underwear do I own? It won't be ready until after 6 tomorrow evening, I'm going to have to get creative for work tomorrow, cuz Momma ain't got no clean chonies. I also went to get a Metrocard for the week and it turns out that I have next to NO money in my account. I must have miscalculated my funds and the trip to Minneapolis didn't pay well. I worked out and discovered that I didn't have my keys, so I went over and met up with Rommate and picked up his set and ended up waiting around for his shift to finish so we could catch a showing of Fantastic Four which is a one of the many comics that I used to collect as a kid. I consider myself an expert on the FF so I was very excited to see this movie. I didn't like it, the story was loaded with plot holes and there were a lot of things that were changed for the movie that made a diehard fan like me, well, cheated. I was going to see this movie whether or not it was good or bad. I have to, I'm a dorky kid that played Dungeons and Dragons, collected comic books and wished on all the stars that I could see to become a superhero and save myself from my crazy family. The sequel has to be better! I have to work in the afternoon manana, I haven't closed in forever. I hope that I remember how. Goodnight..df

I Krump for Jesus.....

I've had one day off this past week. I'm trying to makeup for the trip to Minneapolis, so today when we realized that I had basically caught up with the overtime and holiday pay etc., they sent me home a little early. Thanks to the heavens above, I was a little irate and evil today. I walked home and enjoyed the hot weather and sun and came home to find Roommate and his SO hanging out. For lack of a better name I'm gonna start to call him Flaca, he and I went on the roof to smoke a cigarette and look out over the city and talk. Roommate and I decided to run and catch a showing of the David Lachapelle movie Rize, it's an amazing documentary on the Los Angeles area dance movement called "Clowning" or "Krumping". Apparently after the Rodney King riots in the early 90's this guy created this party crew that would do birthdays and basically keep the chilren off the street. Anyhow the story shows how the movement branched out into the " Krumpers", who were once part of the clown groups. They even have this thing called the Battle Zone where they battle rival crews in front of practically all of Watts. What I loved about the movie, besides the pyrotechnic dance moves, was the realness of the people. They were so uninhibited by Mr. Lachapelles' camera that it made them endearing and some of the stories made me tear up a bit. Best line in the movie was Dragon's mom saying that she loves that he Krumps and that she Krumps as well, only she Krumps for Jesus. Go see it!!
Well, let me quickly tell you what happened last night as it was a delicious evening as well. After a long day at work I met up with Leeto and his friends in the West Village. We had a gay ol' time, sitting outside of the Duplex drinking and cat calling at all the boys and laughing at all of the tragedey that comes a walking by on a Saturday evening. There was one great moment when a very brave and misguided soul walked by in a bad auburn wig that was slightly askew, dressed in a brightly colored red carpet no-no ensemble, who's only redeeming quality was the fact that it all was at least in the blue family. As he lumbered on by I happened to think of only one word, BRAVE. To have the bolas to walk in drag in New York is hard, but to do it in BAD drag is fearless. I turned and quickly told my evil queen posse, not to say a damn word! " That bitch threw rocks at the cops at Stonewall! She fought so we could sit outside right now to be catty and campy!" Well she was old, and tired, but damned if I'm gonna let some bitchy queens take our openness for granted. After that little moment of clarity the hooch took over and we set our eyes on the cute men that happen to be walking by, and HONEY!! I loves me some summer in New York. I also walked around and smoked some mota and was in bed by midnight, I am getting old. I gotta work in the morning, this next week is gonna be a another bear, I only have one day off this week, AGAIN!! Roommate went out tonight and I'm jealous, I would have gone as well, but I need to be fresh for manana. Night...df

I got, SteamHEAT!!!

I haven't been very good this week with writing everything down as I should be. I'm not gonna make any excuses, when I get home from being me sometimes it all I can do to just turn on the computer and check messages, let alone compose something witty and entertaining. I've had some crazy dreams this week, as well as some nightmares. Mostly the bad ones stemmed from the train bombing in London which sent me into post 9/11 anxiety, I didn't ride on the trains all day yesterday. I finally rode one today after work to the gym. Speaking of gym, I am having a difficult time approaching boys that I think are cute. Like today, I just came off the treadmill after running for two miles and this hot blonde haired, blue eyed, papi blanco was stretching. I was sorta out of breath so I didn't really notice him until I was folded like a pretzel and I happened to look over and he was in the same stretch as me. Now I thought, " Well here's another dancer working it out! Cool, cute too!" Only he seemed to be following everything that I was doing, I was really into my stretch and my music and come to find out I was having a stretch off to see who was more flexible. Um, I'm OLD! I was just using the "oil can" to get my weary joints from freezing up on me, and here is this curly haired Adonis trying to make me work harder. I played along for a while, naturally, until he started doing his splits and all that good stuff and I was over it by then, so I went and started on my shoulders. It was a good day at the gym, especially in the locker room. There were some shenanigans going on today! It must have been the rain and the cool weather that made these boys go crazy with each other. I walked into the steam room, the one with all the signs warning us that we will be thrown out for inappropriate behavior, it's also the one that they added TWO 100 watt bulbs that burn through your eyelids when you close them to relax. Let me give a quick disclaimer, I like to steam my body, my gym doesn't have whirlpool, so this is the next best thing. I also have no desire to lose my membership, this is NYC, it's hella expensive to find a suitable gym that can accommodate what the above average gay man needs. Anyhow, back to the ranch, the boys were not shy and had no trouble getting friendly with each other. I may not join in, but it sure is nice to watch sometimes!! I mean, I AM a gentlemen, far be it from to tell them to stop enjoying themselves!! Heehee...Aight folks there is your escandalo for the day, love DF..

P.S.
Want to send a shout out to my nigga Lencho, keep your head up homie.
I love you and I always gots your back!!!

Manhattan

So I live in the Lower East Side and my gym is in Midtown, on 54th Street. And I work in SoHo, which as you can see by the map, they are not very close to each other. I mean, I live close to my work, and I used to live close to my gym. I woke up early this morning with the cartoon birds chirping in my ear and so did Roommate. We wanted to go to the gym and so we got up and left the house by 8am, I had to be at work so I thought that I would get a great workout. I didn't get to the gym until 9am!! I was not in a good mood, I was mad that I would have to cut my workout short so as to still get ready for work. So anyhow, the workout went really well and I was all pumped about going to the store. It was totally chill and all my favorite people were working and it made the time pass faster, also I had a lot of catching up to do since I had been away. So after work I walked home and got caught up with some friends on the phone and just enjoyed my time in my neighborhood. Roommate is in Queens and I have the place all to myself, so I'm just catching up on some alone time. I got some upsetting news from my Tia, she told me that her longtime friend is really sick with complications from his addiction to crystal meth. He had open heart surgery and possibly had a small stroke as well as losing all his teeth from the drug decaying them away. I didn't really know him, but I've heard his name for so long that I felt as though he was part of our family. It made think and worry about my own friends who are out there "partying" and can handle it, I wish that could here this story and know that my Aunts' friend is not even 40. Sorry that this last part was such a downer, but I had it on my mind and I had to let it out. I gotta bounce, I'm gonna try and get to the gym in the morning. I also need to look into switching gyms, to maybe Crunch, like I'm not gay enough!! NIGHT...df

The 5th of July...

I finally got a chance to rest and hang out today. I had a full day with going to work and then the gym and hanging out the Clan on Tam's roof for the fireworks on the 4th. I spent the night at #3's and Colorado's place and #3 and I spent the day together. We got up late and had lunch in the Upper West Side and watched the movie, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I had bought the book on my flight back from Minneapolis and devoured it in two days. I was happy with the movie, even though there were changes galore on the movie version. Had a good day, being lazy. Came home and FINALLY got to see Roommate after not getting a chance to see him since I've been home. He told me this story if him battling a dragonfly when I was away, and we just laughed and caught up with each other. I've got a full week, I'm working to make up hours and I'm gonna try and hit the gym extra hard. I'm off to sleep...night df.

I'M HOME!!!

I am so exhausted from the rehearsals that I just endured. We worked almost everyday and I only got one day off, which consisted of me being a FG and getting drunk. I found myself reverting back to my old habits that I had towards the end of my last tour, which didn't make me so happy. I'm feeling a little bit off, it's gonna take me a while to get back to normal after the whirlwind that I just flew out of. Meeting up with some people that I haven't seen in years brought out the whole " Remember when!..." sickness, which I wasn't immune to. All we could do was look at each other and reminisce on younger, dumber, crazier times when we had no cares in the world. I'm glad I went, the show is gonna be good in Japan, I just couldn't wait to get home to my routine. I came in last night and hung out with #3, Colorado and Tam. Roommate is upstate with his SO and rarely spends a holiday with me, he'd rather go up into the wilderness with the people he doesn't belong to. I feel bloated, fat and my feet hurt from this trip. I'm gonna work manana, happy 4th to me. I'm jumping back on the gym wagon and not eating all this week to try and undo all the mess that I eat and drank last week. I can't write all my thoughts down this instant so I'll have to back track all this week. Until then I'm happy to announce that I spent today falling in love with New York again and she took me back in with open arms..Love you..df