Tonight is Halloween, it's a Holigay. Other than Gay Pride, this is my
people's other holiday. I had a jam packed weekend that I don't have time to
get into here, but I will tell you the funniest thing that happened to me. I
was filling in for someone on this modeling and acting panel, you know where
smaller agencies send their talent to possibly be picked up by a larger
agency. It was on Saturday and it was only for a couple of hours and it paid
me $150, I was all over it since it was quick money. I felt like an
imposter, not to long ago I was at the same kind of auditions trying to make
it. I was at the very end of the panel and I was sort of upset that I had
spent a lot of time picking out the right outfit that said "I can make all
your dreams come true!" but I also wanted it to say "You should have worked
harder!". I wore all black and a big black scarf and my glasses and my hair
was tussled in that I'm artistic and gay but I didn't spend to much time on
my hair, but I really did. Everyone else walked in looking like they were
asking for change on the subway and I could feel their bitchiness, I kept
quiet the whole time. These were some bad auditioners, bad monologues and
very green. I felt sad for them so I started to leave almost everyone
detailed notes on there pacing and beats, line readings and energy. I kept
thinking that I would have liked to have had this feedback when I was
struggling so I was scribbling away when I noticed a name on my sheet that
brought some bad feelings for it, but I couldn't remember why, then HE
walked in. There was a friend of my Roommates who's own roommate a
struggling performer whom I met over last summer. I thought he was a cute
Jake Gylennhaal doppelganger, only his was blonde and over six feet. But he
had those same blue sleepy eyes and crooked smile that I instantly wanted,
so whatever Lolo wants, Lolo gets. We had met at this gay bar and he, of
course, had no money and for some reason at the time I did, so I got him
drunk. We made out the whole night and when it was over we promised to call
and see each other again. Well the next day he called ME! We replayed the
previous night together and made plans to see a movie and grab a bite, well
I got dressed in my cutest outfit and waited, and waited, and waited. He
never called or returned my messages or phone calls, I think me redialing
over and over again might have scared him, you think? I was pissed because I
had spent a lot of money on his ass and didn't get any of it, so I let it
go. I saw him again a couple of months later and he tried to say that he was
sorry about that night and if he could call me again, I said okay knowing
that he wouldn't and he didn't, end of story..right? So I'm writing down
some notes and looking down at my paper and I hear this voice that I
instantly connect with the name that I was angry at, enter this dopey
looking kid that looked like the hot guy that I had met in my haze at the
bar, but it wasn't, it couldn't, could it? SHIT! Here he was in broad
daylight, not bar light, and he was less than breathtaking, a lot less, more
like a burp, or a hiccup. This was the guy that threw me for tailspin for a
couple of weeks? He walks in and introduces himself and recognizes me and
stops short, I wave and smile and thank the Gods for karma. I settle in for
what I know will be a shitty monologue and I am rewarded with a long drawn
piece of shit that I couldn't help but smile when he was done. I think he
thought that I was impressed, I was,but not with him. I was impressed with
the cosmos, and what sense of humor it has. This kind of shit only happens
in the movies, most of my friends stated, the movies and me.
I LOVE NY!! I'm off tonight to a bunch of parties, I can't wait, it's gonna
be FUN!! I'll have picks by manana. Love you guys..DF.
Monday, October 31, 2005
HAPPY HALLUJUWEEN MUTHUFUCKA!!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
The Windy City..
If this blog had been a plant or a pet it would have died along time ago, so if you would please my patient and loyal readers, do this blog a favor and clap! Clap and bring it back to life, for you see, this blog is written by a fairy, therefore it is a fairy. Repeat after me, "I do believe in Fairies, I do! I do!" Aaaah, there, all better. And on with the show.
I was in Chicago over the weekend to see one of my best friends in the whole world get married. Hee Hee was the first person that I met when I moved to Chicago back in '01. I was working at tacky beauty store and I was made to sell useless paraffin wax dippers for people to use in their homes. I was stationed by the hair salon with a table and the unit, and I was supposed to make these people think that I was expert at what I was selling. This was the only job that I could at that time so I pretended that I was playing a role in a play and this was acting. So I read the directions in 10 minutes and off I went, at first reading the directions verbatim and dipping peoples hands into the hot and aromatic rose, lavender or raspberry scented paraffin. It was very therapeutic and I noticed that people loved that I was also massaging their hands. Also at that time I was a hot little number, I was thin and looked like a million bucks. A tall Latin boy from California in the middle of a Chicago winter was like seeing a Monarch butterfly in the snow. I was well groomed and did not belong in January in the Midwest, so I used displacement to my advantage. I was great at improve and started making up shit that sounded good!
" With the magic of the non-stick heat ring you not only melt the wax but you also release the aroma therapy benefits of the fragrant oils that are trapped inside, do you smell that?"
I would then grab her hand and gently bring her towards the melted candle and brush my hand towards her nose, fanning the ersatz aroma therapy towards her nose.
"I think, I think I do feel calmer?!" The middle-aged mother with the white sweatshirt and the puff-painted red nosed reindeer would look at me. I in turn would flash her my west coast smile that was movie star all the way, one of the many smiles that I posses in my arsenal of looks and glances. She was caught off guard by my dimples and the way I playfully rubbed her other arm and told her, " In Hollywood all the celebrities keep their hands soft and beautiful using a unit just like this one, it would also help you too. It would help take off dead skin cells and make your hands look younger, also making your hands appear as if you've never done a honest day of work in your whole life! You can kiss dish pan hands goodbye!" I would then throw my head back and laugh a little wicked laugh, like I was letting her in a movie star secret, ringing up the box I would walk her over and tell her that if she had any problems with it she could always bring it back, no questions asked. I sold over 15 in a matter of a days. I later found out that they had ordered a lot of these machines but couldn't sell them, so they had sat in the stockroom for more than a month until I came along, it was sort of my test. To see what this pretty boy was made of, I proved my self to all of them. Enter my friend Hee Hee, I noticed this cute lady walk in and stand at the edge of the crowd that would gather as I would melt unscented wax and then use our own essential oils that the store carried to mix and customize my own aroma therapy. This was actually out of necessity than imagination, we had run out of the scented wax and they wouldn't let me open any more of it for the demos, so I started using the other oils that also weren't selling and also started upselling. She walked up and wanted her hand massaged, I wasn't going to give her the sermon because I had learned that some people just wanted me to touch them and not want to buy this contraption. I started by lightly massaging her hand in silence and then went to dip her hand in the melted wax.
" You're not gonna give me your speech?" She asked a little bit disappointed.
" I thought that you've already heard it a couple of times, so I thought that you just wanted your hand touched." I was a little wary of her by now.
" No, I like when you smile, where are you from anyway? You have an accent."
"An accent?" I cocked my head to one side and continued prepping her for the dip. She touched upon a very sensitive thing that not many people know about, my voice. I've always been very aware that I had a higher voice than most men, always teased growing up about how fast I talk. You see my first language was Spanish and in my culture we speak very fast, but I had to go to speech therapy for years and I worked very hard to get rid of my stutter and accent that most kids from the area that I grew up in had. To me it showed no education and lack of sophistication to point to a chair and sound like you were saying "Pleeze, seet in dee share" I hated that I had to tell the teacher the difference between that chair and share. I sit in the chair and I share the chair. Very hard to manage when you are in the second grade and scared of adults.
"You don't sound like you're from around here." She had noticed that I was thrown off by her question.
"Like where? Like what country?" All I was thinking was that here I am in Chicago and I'm rubbing on some bigot that was probably about to tell me to go back where I came from. I had to quickly think about what how would I handle the situation, would I be composed and educate her? Or would I yell and talk shit, or my personal favorite, throw the wax on her head and walk out into the snow and cause a huge scene and telling the store to shove this job up their asses.
" No silly, what state." Her turn to laugh, " You don't have a Midwestern accent."
"OH! I'm from California, from San Diego born and raised." I blushed a little.
" What are you doing here?" I went on to tell her that I ran away from home to try and make in Chicago and that I eventually want to move to New York, but thought that this was far enough away from home but close enough to New York to make on my own. I found that we instantly bonded and I could tell her anything. She stood at my stand for another 40 minutes and I ignored all the rest of customers so we could get to know each other.
" You're gay right?" Great, here it comes! We were just hitting it off and now I've to try and come up with another scenario to make a statement, if she is a homophobe how can I let her know not to fuck with a queen from the westside? By being honest.
" Yes I am." And I smiled at her the most sincere smile that I could muster without looking like I was in a showchoir or pissed of at her.
"GOOD! Are you dating anyone? If not there is someone that you have to meet."
And that's how Hee Hee and I became best friends in Chicago, the guy that she had in mind ended up being the first guy that I dated there as well. That's another story for another time. Her wedding to her guy was beautiful, it was an Asian theme and I wore a Kimono that I bought in Japan. I stood on her side and was her man of honor. She was radiant that day, even though outside the wind and water off the lake battered the window, she with her happiness made everything and everyone feel safe around her. She is like an older sister to me and I was so happy to have shared that with her and her now husband. I will write more later, as it is almost 1:30 in the morning and I haven't really slept. I don't know where I was going with this story, but I'm glad where it went. It was awesome to go back to Chicago where it all started and see how far I've come from being a scared little Mexican in the cold and not knowing where my next meal was coming from. I've got a ton of stories to tell ya'll, night..df
I was in Chicago over the weekend to see one of my best friends in the whole world get married. Hee Hee was the first person that I met when I moved to Chicago back in '01. I was working at tacky beauty store and I was made to sell useless paraffin wax dippers for people to use in their homes. I was stationed by the hair salon with a table and the unit, and I was supposed to make these people think that I was expert at what I was selling. This was the only job that I could at that time so I pretended that I was playing a role in a play and this was acting. So I read the directions in 10 minutes and off I went, at first reading the directions verbatim and dipping peoples hands into the hot and aromatic rose, lavender or raspberry scented paraffin. It was very therapeutic and I noticed that people loved that I was also massaging their hands. Also at that time I was a hot little number, I was thin and looked like a million bucks. A tall Latin boy from California in the middle of a Chicago winter was like seeing a Monarch butterfly in the snow. I was well groomed and did not belong in January in the Midwest, so I used displacement to my advantage. I was great at improve and started making up shit that sounded good!
" With the magic of the non-stick heat ring you not only melt the wax but you also release the aroma therapy benefits of the fragrant oils that are trapped inside, do you smell that?"
I would then grab her hand and gently bring her towards the melted candle and brush my hand towards her nose, fanning the ersatz aroma therapy towards her nose.
"I think, I think I do feel calmer?!" The middle-aged mother with the white sweatshirt and the puff-painted red nosed reindeer would look at me. I in turn would flash her my west coast smile that was movie star all the way, one of the many smiles that I posses in my arsenal of looks and glances. She was caught off guard by my dimples and the way I playfully rubbed her other arm and told her, " In Hollywood all the celebrities keep their hands soft and beautiful using a unit just like this one, it would also help you too. It would help take off dead skin cells and make your hands look younger, also making your hands appear as if you've never done a honest day of work in your whole life! You can kiss dish pan hands goodbye!" I would then throw my head back and laugh a little wicked laugh, like I was letting her in a movie star secret, ringing up the box I would walk her over and tell her that if she had any problems with it she could always bring it back, no questions asked. I sold over 15 in a matter of a days. I later found out that they had ordered a lot of these machines but couldn't sell them, so they had sat in the stockroom for more than a month until I came along, it was sort of my test. To see what this pretty boy was made of, I proved my self to all of them. Enter my friend Hee Hee, I noticed this cute lady walk in and stand at the edge of the crowd that would gather as I would melt unscented wax and then use our own essential oils that the store carried to mix and customize my own aroma therapy. This was actually out of necessity than imagination, we had run out of the scented wax and they wouldn't let me open any more of it for the demos, so I started using the other oils that also weren't selling and also started upselling. She walked up and wanted her hand massaged, I wasn't going to give her the sermon because I had learned that some people just wanted me to touch them and not want to buy this contraption. I started by lightly massaging her hand in silence and then went to dip her hand in the melted wax.
" You're not gonna give me your speech?" She asked a little bit disappointed.
" I thought that you've already heard it a couple of times, so I thought that you just wanted your hand touched." I was a little wary of her by now.
" No, I like when you smile, where are you from anyway? You have an accent."
"An accent?" I cocked my head to one side and continued prepping her for the dip. She touched upon a very sensitive thing that not many people know about, my voice. I've always been very aware that I had a higher voice than most men, always teased growing up about how fast I talk. You see my first language was Spanish and in my culture we speak very fast, but I had to go to speech therapy for years and I worked very hard to get rid of my stutter and accent that most kids from the area that I grew up in had. To me it showed no education and lack of sophistication to point to a chair and sound like you were saying "Pleeze, seet in dee share" I hated that I had to tell the teacher the difference between that chair and share. I sit in the chair and I share the chair. Very hard to manage when you are in the second grade and scared of adults.
"You don't sound like you're from around here." She had noticed that I was thrown off by her question.
"Like where? Like what country?" All I was thinking was that here I am in Chicago and I'm rubbing on some bigot that was probably about to tell me to go back where I came from. I had to quickly think about what how would I handle the situation, would I be composed and educate her? Or would I yell and talk shit, or my personal favorite, throw the wax on her head and walk out into the snow and cause a huge scene and telling the store to shove this job up their asses.
" No silly, what state." Her turn to laugh, " You don't have a Midwestern accent."
"OH! I'm from California, from San Diego born and raised." I blushed a little.
" What are you doing here?" I went on to tell her that I ran away from home to try and make in Chicago and that I eventually want to move to New York, but thought that this was far enough away from home but close enough to New York to make on my own. I found that we instantly bonded and I could tell her anything. She stood at my stand for another 40 minutes and I ignored all the rest of customers so we could get to know each other.
" You're gay right?" Great, here it comes! We were just hitting it off and now I've to try and come up with another scenario to make a statement, if she is a homophobe how can I let her know not to fuck with a queen from the westside? By being honest.
" Yes I am." And I smiled at her the most sincere smile that I could muster without looking like I was in a showchoir or pissed of at her.
"GOOD! Are you dating anyone? If not there is someone that you have to meet."
And that's how Hee Hee and I became best friends in Chicago, the guy that she had in mind ended up being the first guy that I dated there as well. That's another story for another time. Her wedding to her guy was beautiful, it was an Asian theme and I wore a Kimono that I bought in Japan. I stood on her side and was her man of honor. She was radiant that day, even though outside the wind and water off the lake battered the window, she with her happiness made everything and everyone feel safe around her. She is like an older sister to me and I was so happy to have shared that with her and her now husband. I will write more later, as it is almost 1:30 in the morning and I haven't really slept. I don't know where I was going with this story, but I'm glad where it went. It was awesome to go back to Chicago where it all started and see how far I've come from being a scared little Mexican in the cold and not knowing where my next meal was coming from. I've got a ton of stories to tell ya'll, night..df
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
All wet...
It's been raining since the weekend and it's now reaching 50 degrees!! Where did summer go? Just last week it was over 80 with 1,000 percent humidity. Well now we got wind, cold and rain. I'm miserable. But I'm doing good, had a good weekend. I can't write my escapdes in the blog because I'm a lady and my family taught me never to dish your secrets to mixed company, so all you slutty ones out there call me I'll give you the scoop!! I've been working long hours so I haven't had time for myself, I haven't gone to the gym in a loooong while and I feel it. I promise, that I'll go this weekend when I get some time off. I promised myself that I'm gonna cut back on all the drinking and going out. I am gonna be constructive and get some culture. I went the MOMA last Sunday with #3 and his family and had a great time. Not much else that's exciting going on here, just trying not to the let the weather get me down. I'll try and write something witty at work..love you guys..df
Friday, October 07, 2005
On the Defense
I'm getting tired of people commenting on this site and not leaving their info so I contact them back and give some information on some of the questions that they ask me. So let me clear some things up for some of you out there....
- I am 27, not 32. That post where I talked about 32 being the new 23 is about my friend Roy and his birthday.
- This new job with the agency is not my first real job. I don't know whoever left this comment, but it would be nice if whomever would read it all the way through and figure what I wrote was that I haven't had a real demanding job in a while. I guess the person just thinks that I don't work or something, because I've been working since I was 14. To clarify one last time, where I work now is hard, it really is and I'm not complaining. Everyone who work gets tired and has to deal with a lot of shit from time to time. Especially when you are just starting out in a brand new career, again, and have to learn everything about your position by being thrown in. I'm sure those of us that learned how to swim took time to learn how to do that, right? I wasn't jumping off the high dive and doing back flips the moment that I learned how to dog paddle. But here it's sink or swim HONEY! I'm learning, everyday I learn something new, and everyday I get that much more comfortable with this place and everyone that I work with. I may be doing the breast stroke right now, but give me some time. I will be doing some Olympic level shit off my high dive.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
No worries...
I'm not dead and I haven't given up, I just don't have time to do anything at this moment. I forgot how hard it was to hold down a regular, demanding job. I'm really earning my pay this time around. I'm at work right now with my immediate supervisor and I'm loving learning from him, I'm about to go shopping for one of the models right now. Miss Thing needs clothes, and I don't need to go the gym. I haven't been in over a week now and I'm feeling it, I lost my lock and can't be bothered to buy a new one, I think that I'm getting depressed. And right now there is some sort of terrorists scare in the subways system. I'm either going to walk home or lay right down on this floor and be ready for this job in the morning. I will be working on Saturday, there are a lot of things that we need to get done and we need no distractions to get them finished. I gotta run, I'll write more later....df
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