Nuggins, Knobs and Cribbage...OH MY!!!

I had a great time this weekend, cleaning and painting. My new apartment is coming along pretty well. I'm out of money so my cell phone has been turned off until I can pay the bill, which will prolly be Friday. I don't mind it one bit, except that I'm trying to get my stuff together for Japan, so it might get a little difficult to finalize things. We also may have to wait a while for cable, seeing as we need to spend our money on things that we need, paint and new shelves or furniture. I've been spending time with #3 and husband, we had a marvelous time at the Central Park. We had a picnic and drank wine, I think I gained forty pounds! Husband tried to teach us Cribbage, for those of you that don't know what that is, it's this tacky British game that I did not want to learn. I was too distracted by the HOT boys that were playing Frisbee and throwing the football around. I'm going to upload photos later. The boys were out today! Another cool sidenote, I've been wearing #3's clothes because all my shit is boxed up and in the bedroom that we will hopefully get painted manana. So it's cool that I can fit into smaller clothes, which means I have to get new smaller clothes for summer. I am so happy and at peace right now and I have all my friends to thank for that....goodnight..df

All you need are a bunch of Mexicans!!!

I am tired!!! Carrying shit up six flights of stairs is not cute!! We hired some bootleg movers to help us and thank GOD! That our friends showed up to lend some support and their muscles!! After getting all of our stuff to the new place #3 gave us our housewarming presents, some much needed cleaning supplies, and Honey he put us all to work. He started with the bathroom and the rest of us started scrubbing off years of dirt and grime off of the floors, walls and the refrigerator! This apartment is gonna work, it's in a cute area and the view last night of the skyline was enough to take my breath away and to make me want a cigarette so I could enjoy the moment. We are off today to go and paint and finish moving in, thanks to all of you who gave support and prayers!!!
On a side note, I walked past my first boyfriend yesterday morning while I was walking to bank and I called out his name, he had grown out his hair and he was upset. But he didn't respond, I thought it wasn't him. I mean he is from the same small town in Southern California and he goes to med school in Philly, so why would he be in the city and not tell me? I called his cell phone and he didn't answer and he finally called me back and told me that it indeed was him and he was sorry but he didn't hear me and he was distressed, he was on his way to his ex-boyfriends funeral and he was on another planet. It was weird he said, he walked passed his first boyfriend to view last boyfriends body...Poor guy..freaky huh? I gotta go now kids...love fina

Moving on down, to the Lower East Side.....

I'm off to see our new PLACE!! I'll write more later...df

My life in boxes

It's still wet and unseasonably cold here in NYC. We now do not have any place to live and it's killing me and Roommate. I don't know where to forward my mail to or where I am going to wake up on Sunday morning. But we're doing pretty well considering my penchant for histrionics over the littlest thing. I'm just doing my work and letting God do the rest. I hung out Tam last night and we saw Revenge of the Sith, I'm not sure if I liked it or not, but I was happy to have closure on my youth. It was cool to have most of my questions answered and to also see the birth of Darth Vader and the twins. Our apartment is getting full of boxes and it's so fitting that every May for the past I don't know how many years, my life has changed during this month, I always have to move or run from something. So we have this apartment with all these little boxes laying around, this is who we are. Boys trying to become men who's lives fit into little containers that have no where to be put. It trips me out to think that when my father was my age I wasn't even a thought in his mind. I won't the age that he had me for about five years. What else have I forgotten? I'm going to JAPAN!!!!! I made the cut, and now I get to go overseas with a bunch of my friends and have the best summer vacation EVER! Well I'm off to sleep and hopefully conjure up some good luck. Night, df.

A lousy 88 bucks Papa.....

It is thundering outside right now. I am in the midst of a rainstorm and I think that I may have linked up with Mother Earth and am currently venting my emotions through her. I feel like a rainstorm inside right now. Cold, tumultuous and losing steam. I don't know what I am gonna do if we don't get the apartment. And what if we do? I don't have all the money, I lost a week and a pay period so now I don't have a much as I thought that I would. My Father told me that things would work out and that I could always come home if things got really bad. SHIT!!!
"All I need is a lousy 88 bucks Papa". A line from Gypsy. That's how I feel right now, I would be cool if I had another pay period to go, but alas I don't. I am short $700. I would have all the money to move but I had to pay some bills. Lord I need a miracle.
It rains in the subways here, it really does. It also snows. I am fighting the urge to go out and get ripped and puke on my shoes. Roommate started packing tonight and it sent me to a really weird place. Work was work and I am TIRED. I went out last night after being awake since the wee hours of the morning and drank a little with #3 and husband. I missed him and he always knows what to say to calm me down. I've got to work in the morning and hopefully I'll wake up in time to go the gym....night df

Even Cowgirls get the blues....

I had a good day. I couldn't get to sleep last night, so I called friends from all over the U.S. trying to get someone to talk to me. I had no luck until I called my old roommate from my second tour "Big Red" . We ended talking for an hour and it was so cool to catch up and laugh about the same things, she is currently going through same shit that I'm going through, and we swapped war stories about crazy apartments and scary Supers that we have met. BR is going to be on the Japan tour of the show that I may or not be on in August. I hope that we get to room together again, she is a "Fat Gurl" just like me, we both don't sleep and we like to watch scary movies and eat at all hours of the night.
This morning I woke up REAL late, I slept through all of my alarms for the gym and ended up rushing to get up and get to work, took a cab and was twenty minutes late. I had picked up a cup of coffee and a breakfast sandwich and I preceded to be thirty minutes late to finish my breakfast. Tam had no problem with me doing that, it was way slow and he just wanted to chill and talk. I also broke my left ear bud to my ipod "esmeralda" and I am pissed about having to pay another $40 to get them replaced.
GREAT news, I don't want to jinx it, but Roommate and I have two GREAT leads on some gnarly apartments in our same neighborhood and the Lower East Side. I hope that we get at least one of them! ( I sort of want to stay in our current area). I worked and then rushed to hang out with the gang, we had dinner and drinks and I am really buzzed and feeling groovy. The place that we ate at was Cowgirls in the West Village, Margarita anyone? Roommate gave me to do list for manana and my head hurts from reading peoples responses to a Osos' blog that I posted a response too. It was a very controversial topic about homosexuality and gay marriage, muy DRAMATICO!!!. But what do you expect with a bunch of crazy brown people and the one who love them. Roommates' boyfriend is here and he's being hella cool, we got a date to go to the batting cages this weekend and I can't wait. I'm off to sleep like my Dad did when he was drunk and I had to take off his botas, like a baby. Night my chilren'...df

Countdown...

We are running out of time. I just went and viewed a PERFECT apartment, the thing is (gay exhale) there are a ton of brokers' fees!!! What the fuck is that all about! You have to be totally freaking be rich just to move a few blocks away. At this rate the only place that I can afford to move to will be back to San Diego. It is disheartening knowing that if someone gave you the chance you would be the best tenant in the world. I also blame my current wage, if I wasn't so poorly paid, I would be able to move with no problem. I have to have faith in that everything will work out, I don't want to have anxiety attacks or shut down like my roommate. I'll write more later...love df

It's SHOWTIME at the Apollo!!

I was awakened by Friend telling me that I was his back up date for Alvin Ailey 2 tonight. The guy he had asked never RSVP'd and I was fit to fill his shoes. I told him that I would go only if work let me go, and they did. We got to the Apollo early and wouldn't you know it, it's small. On television it seems SO big, but tonight not so much. We had some crazy drink called Zombie and it fucked us up royally. So much so we had two! The performances were cool, except that towards the end I started to doze in and out and I couldn't wait for it to be over. After the show we went to #3's and husbands house, sat a spell and then had a late dinner at some dive cafe on 55th and 7th. The food was crappy and Friend went home, after we had been bitchy to each other cuz we was drunk. The food has made me sick, and on the walk home I could feel that the turkey burger I had was gonna come out of my body tonight, it was just deciding what orifice it was gonna jump outta. I came home and Roommate went to Queens, thank GOD! Not because I didn't want him here, but I had an accident trying to get to the bathroom, and let's just say my brand new Burberry chonies were ruined. I had to go and get the white briefs, had to go and try and be cute. I should've known better, but I wanted to make a statement, now I know how girls feel during that time of the month and are afraid to rock their cute undies. I'm off to bed with an upset stomach, I think that there will be no gym tomorrow. Night...df

Friday the 13th...

The weather has been great the past couple of days. I've enjoyed walking around the city and looking at the buildings that I normally shuffle past. We are still not having any luck with the apartment hunt and it's really wearing my Roommate down. He's unhappy and needy and introverted and that's not a good thing. His boyfriend is here today and of course he's making him as miserable as he is, I normally don't care, it's just that they both are here with me. I'm here the in the room pretending to be Anne Frank as they both whisper and look at a fashion magazines together. I was asked today why I didn't have a boyfriend, and all I could say was that I don't need one right now. AND I don't, see the thing is, it's spring and I can't help but look around and see all the love around me. Yesterday I was walking to the train and I saw this girl waiting on the corner looking almost incomplete, like she was missing something about her, I couldn't place it. She was wearing both shoes, her clothes were correct. She had accessories and the like, she just didn't seem right. I noticed a hot man across the street and was watching him watch the unsuspecting lady, he started to smile, she then looked up and came to life. The gentleman was her missing segment that made her happy and complete. I was sickened to death and became what the kids here on the east coast call a "Hater". We are all now in the bedroom and it's chill, I lit the Kabalah candle for Happiness and we are one big stupid family. Like a bunch of cats in a cave looking at each other and not making a sound. Just the sounds of a keyboard and pages turning.
Quick thoughts that I've had throughout the week that always seem to slip my mind.

• When did I start to carry change in my pocket that I keep for days at a time and don't spend? My father always had change, and he would use it for that. I couldn't keep change at all. It always went to something. Snacks, video games, gas etc.
• I was at the gym and the movie Showgirls was on. I was working on some machine with the music really loud on my ipod and I noticed that all the bois had stopped working out and were looking up and it turned out to be the audition scene and somehow I knew that inside everyone's head I could here them counting the music and doing the choreography, that they already knew...as do I.
• I love the new Mariah Carey album. It's vintage Ms. Carey and finally someone has her singing again!! I love it....Mimi!

Well that's it for tonight, I hope to write more later...it's the weekend and I want to have some fun. Goodnight...df

Oprah makes you cry.....

I've been really busy since Saturday and I can't even begin to write down everything that is going on in my life right now. I'll give some quick bullet points.

• Still looking for a new apartment with Roommate and it's coming down to the wire and I'm getting a little scart. I hope that we can find something soon, I'm tired of searching. I also hope that when we find a place, that I can find a way to come up with some money to put down on the new place.
• WORK!!! I'm so tired of working and working so hard not having anything to show for it. I need to possibly start looking for new employment. I feel that what I have to offer a potential employer is worth a whole shit load more than what I'm currently getting.
• I can fit into my size 33 jeans that I haven't been able to fit into since my first tour. I can't believe it, I almost cried when I could button the pants and walk around without any complications. It totally inspired me to work even harder and hit the gym more, I want to wear cute outfits this summer. And I will.
• I read two books last week. One was Dry by Augusten Burroughs, it was fantastic. I swept through that book and I couldn't put it down. It was about him getting over alcoholism and more importantly it was all true and he's based outta New York City. I also read Light Before Day by Christopher Rice. I didn't really like it that much, it was predictable and too out there for me. I can't tell you about it, because it's a murder mystery.
• And finally! Oprah makes you cry when you watch her show. Her show today was about making peoples' wildest dreams come true. The first half was about amazing high school seniors that have overcome obstacles to graduate. There was boy with no legs that was walking again, and then twins who's family couldn't afford tuition for them so they were gonna sell the house. But of course Oprah gets them all money and full tuition so they can live their dreams. I was a fucking mess, I thought that my heart was all dried up and made of stone, but Oprah melted it....thanks Oprah.

So now I got friends from tour that I haven't seen in forever coming over and I gotta get cute. I'll write more later..love Fina.

I'm tired.....

Been a real tough week, work has been hard. People have been calling out sick and I'm just a little run down. I've worked out and that is helping and had some good dinners with friends. I want to write more but I'm falling asleep as I type...more later..df

Rainy days and Mondays always get me down....

Well, it is Monday! Start of a new week and new adventures and experiences. I had a busy and fun weekend. #3 is back and I'm so happy to have him back, his wisdom was sorely missed by all. I hung out with the "crew" on Saturday sans Roommate. We went out to Pop Burger to toast #3's arrival back from abroad and also to give me my first drink in a month. I had one drink all night and I was okay with it. We also went out to dance at Spirit for some Dj's birthday and the music was sort of busted and the crowd was weird. After being out of the loop of gaydom's party scene, and being an observer and not a partaker, it was a sad, sad sight. Tam and I left everyone around 3am and scurried home 'cuz we had to be at work early on Sunday. Today I had a big to do list. I woke up, cleaned and went uptown to look at some potential apartments. They were nice, I just think for as far uptown and for the price we can get something in Astoria. Just finished having dinner with the Jose's and #3s' husband. It was quaint after work drinks and food at the Mexican joint across from us. I finally got to vent and #3 gave me some good feedback about my store and what I should be thinking about for my future. So we shall see what transpires from this. I'm home now and Roommate is asleep and I'm groggy from the two margaritas that I had....I've got another day off tomorrow and I'm don't have anything planned, except of course the gym..goodnight..df