The FIERY Arches....

Umm, the worst thing that could ever happen to a fat gurl like me, just occurred. I don't know when, or how, but I was sitting at my desk and someone asked me if I wanted Mcd's and I said NO. I thought that I was having will power, I mean I walk past it every day on the way to work, so I will not be tempted, the Golden Arches? My culo, more like the Fiery Arches, that guard the way to HADES! So I'm sitting here being a diligent Mexican when I hear the skinny people clap and yell, McDonald's is here! What? Here? I happen to look over and standing at the elevator is a MacDonald's employee holding a bag of what can only be sweet, sensuous, sinful goodness that was wafting it's siren like sent over to me. Large FRIES!! I started to sniff..
"Umm, they deliver?" I asked, afraid of the response, know full well that if I asked or looked I would turn into a salty fry.
"Yup!" They choke as they shovel handfuls of the death sticks into their mouths.
"I didn't know that they delivered." I gulp.
"Jose, this is NYC. They deliver everything here." I start to sniff the air and my professional nose asks them..
"Who ordered chicken nuggets? (sniff) And a cheese burger..sniff...sniff.. and an apple pie?!" They all stood there in awe of my fat gurl prowess.
"Do you want an extra order of fries? They gave us one by mistake?" I leaped across the table like a cheetah at a wounded wildebeest. And I now sit here with a large order of fries, greasy hands and salt on my sweater. I'm scared, I know they deliver now, and it's only a phone call away and there will be no shame that I get when I know that people see me walk in. It's become too accessible, somebody call Kirstie Alley and Jenny Craig, NOW!
"Does anyone have any ketchup?"