Easy like Sunday Morning..

I'm currently writing this with tears in my eyes as I wait for the bleach and cleaning fumes to get the hell out of my apartment. I just finished cleaning my bathroom and am taking a break before getting ready to head on out to see my friends. I've had a boring week since I last wrote, except to say that Roommate is in Mexico and I'm all alone in this place, it's weird cuz I haven't been this alone for quite sometime.
Some people came over on Friday and brought beer and snacks and HG stayed over and we read our poetry and journals to each other well into the morning. I pulled out some dusty journals from the road and some bad poems about a certain someone who ripped my heart out and it just got me thinking to put some of them up here, so without further ado, some bad poetry about love lost and never regained....

Wonder written on March 7, 2003

It makes me wonder,
if I am ever to find
companionship......
again I feel lost and
abandoned
You were holding my
hand
one of the few whom
I let get close
I stopped to smell
your essence
Instead I got drunk
on your soul
When I opened my eyes,
your hand was gone
As well as my heart
You walked away
Your gait always faster,
longer than mine
Hoping that you would
come back to me
Like you did so many
times before
You never looked
back...
Afraid? No one
knows
A pillar of salt?
Maybe, perhaps not
Afraid of what would
be there....
Just me...a sea of
salty tears.....
An empty hand and
faded memories of stolen
moments that you took with
you forever
It makes me wonder..


When I write stuff down I never go and edit or rewrite it, I'm big believer in stream of consciousness. Reading all these sad things helps me keep my life in perspective, it helps me not want to ever feel like did back in those days. I was a very sad and self-destructive person. Those of you guys who were with me during those times remember the ugliness that was this person and me. The great thing is that we've become better friends since then and talk constantly. I'm loving having a chill day, love you guys...df