Those lyrics are from the musical Wicked from the song "Defying Gravity". I have been feeling like that all day. I don't know when it came over me, but I feel a new change in life coming up. It's weird, I felt a strange calm all day, and I couldn't explain why. I'm going to have to move in May. The guy that we sublet from wants his apartment back, only after we made it amazing. I can't say that I'm not going to miss this neighborhood, it's padre'! I got everything at my finger tips! But alas all good things must come to end. I'm probably going to move in with Leeto in Astoria, Queens. I know really gay right?! It's a great apartment and I would have my own room and pay about $150 less a month! Man, being able to pay bills on time is going to be fantastic. Roommate is going to move back to California( so he says, but we shall see..). And this is the reason why I'm feeling sort of displaced, almost as if I was floating through time, and I felt okay. Nothing really bothered me today at work. It was busy and I kicked ass, made it happen and we made goal. Came home and decided against going to the gym and put laundry away, tidied up bit and turned the computer on. Roommate was gone last night in Queens, and tonight he went rollerskating, he's in bed already. I'm not gonna miss this about him. I tried to get to talk to him tonight, but for some reason he just didn't want to listen. He started listening to his voicemails on his cell, and there were a grip of them! How can you not listen to your voicemails all day? I would freak out. He just sat there while I was in the middle of my story and trying to explain how I felt and he shut me out. I guess he's feeling better. I am going to make a bigger statement once I move. I'm going to make a change, for the better. I can feel it. I got a couple of positions at work that I want to go for and I have a good chance to get them. And I know that I want to be part in some way shape or form of the fashion industry. I don't how, but I will, and I will make a big contribution.
One more thing: I started to smoke this week. I didn't buy the cigs., they were left by Roommates "boyfriend" and I just started to hang out the window and smoke. I was determined in this cold weather to stand on the fire escape and smoke! I felt cool again, I felt complete. That is until I was walking home from work and remembered that I was a smoker again and lit up on 49th and 7th, I felt very bad, like I was breaking the law, then I got to 49th and 8th and I couldn't breathe and it was freezing and my throat was hurting. I quickly threw that shit away and gave up smoking again right then and there.....and now I smell and I can't get the stench outta my hands..not cute...night DF...
"In the evening, I've got to roam, can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome. Feels to damn much like home, when the Spanish baby's cry". Mimi from RENT. Just heard a little latin baby crying in my building..thought of that lyric.....
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